So Funny I almost woke the kids [Archive] - Wildcat Nation Forums - Kentucky Wildcat Discussion and News

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ukblue22
12-15-2007, 05:52 AM
The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?.....

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my dogs at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

lighthouse
12-15-2007, 08:10 AM
:icon_lol: :icon_lol: GOOD JOB!!! I think I'll try that one. :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol:

Brian McCat
12-15-2007, 08:50 AM
awesome, Jeff!

misterbluecat
12-15-2007, 01:03 PM
LOL. Wow. :icon_mrgreen:

cumberlandredskin
12-17-2007, 07:19 AM
LOLF!!! That's great! I have to remember that one so I will be banned from shopping at Wal-Mart like you.

1daysoon
12-17-2007, 08:25 PM
OMG

I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying.

matt57
12-19-2007, 08:51 PM
i've heard a joke just like that but, the ending was too crude to post here.

ukblue22
12-20-2007, 05:20 AM
i've heard a joke just like that but, the ending was too crude to post here.

I think some people go way to far out of the way to be offended.

BlueHatWildcat
12-20-2007, 12:41 PM
i'm at work. the person in the cubical in front of mine just looked to see what was going on!