Completely academic football rules questions re: field goal attempts

[The Old School JPS]

If a field goal attempt landed on the crossbar and stayed there, what call would result? Is that a field goal or a miss? Does the entire ball have to pass through the uprights? Even more unlikely, what if a field goal attempt went through the uprights but then came back through and landed in front of them, say after a gust of wind or striking a bird?

If a player stood in the back of the end zone, waited for a field goal try to come through the uprights, and then jumped from in bounds and swatted the ball back through the uprights, is that a successful field goal or a miss? (I think Canadian football has or had some odd rules about this; I don't know if there are any remotely similar provisions in US football or not.

[Wildcat Larry]

This is a guess based on nothing in particular I would say that a field goal is good when the entire ball gets through the uprights. I look at it much the same a breaking the plane of the goal line on a touchdown. As soon as the ball breaks the plane of the uprights, it would be a good field goal and the play blown dead at the point, so the wind, bird or whatever wouldn't count.

Now as far as the ball landing and settling on the crossbar, I would say that's not a field goal because the entire ball didn't break the plane of the crossbar/uprights.

Interesting question. :?:)

[Wildcat Larry]

Okay, this rule from the 2005 NCAA Football Rules Book refutes my logic of the field goal "breaking the plane".

If a legal field goal attempt passes over the crossbar between the
uprights and is dead beyond the end line or is blown back but does not
return over the crossbar and is dead anywhere, it shall score a field goal.
The crossbar and uprights are treated as a line, not a plane, in determining
forward progress of the ball.